November 6, 2006
10:56
Lusaka, Zambia
I think about how much there is to tell and I simply get too tired to begin. This is a classic case of my well-honed procrastination. I've divided my tale into three sections.
Part One:
We arrived at the bus station just in time to watch to bus drive away. This was mid-day Friday. No other buses we departing for Harrare until the next morning. This type of trip is what I live for. Planning is not my forte. I have nothing against gathering money in the various currencies needed for international travel, checking out bus times, checking and double checking arrangements on the arrival side. However, I much prefer getting up and going. After a
beautiful journey through, over, and between large hills/small mountains and clearing customs/immigration at both the Zambian and Zimbabwean border we arrived at Roadport Bus Station in Harrare. We had about an hour and a half before darkness overtook us on that Saturday night. The driver from Kufunda Village was not there. Anton, a young Zimbabwean man, graciously assisted us in calling the 5 different numbers that we had. We had no Zim dollars so the next task was to change some Zambian kwacha. Changing money on the street is an illegal activity however that didn’t seem to deter anyone. Anton offered his home for the night as our search for the elusive Kufunda Village could not be continued until morn
ing. We lugged our backpacks, sleeping bags, and Zambian cereal (we were asked to bring cereal for Auntie’s Kenyan niece living in Harrare…it is not sold in Zim) from minibus to minibus as we traveled from downtown Harrare to a high density area a good 30 miles away. I’m slowly gathering valuable “rules of the road” that apply here. My main lesson this trip was: no vehicle (minibus, truck, small car, bus is ever full) Anton is a twenty-two year old Zimbabwean. His parents both died about five years ago leaving him and two sisters (18 and 13 years old) behind as well as a grandmother. Half of their small house was rented, the money used for food. I desperately wished I had brought something to share or give the girls. I dug through my bag hoping for something, anything of interest. I had packed only the bare essentials and after the third time digging through my bag I pulled out my mp3 player. They took turns listening to everything from Backstreet Boys to Shakira. I swallowed my daily dose of doxycycline and placed my trust in modern medici
ne to protect me from the vicious Malaria-mosquitoes circling overhead. The next morning we set out with Anton. We hopped in the back of his friend’s truck and after purchasing fuel that officially “doesn’t exist” and getting good-naturedly harassed by dozens of men, we set out. I’ll leave you to your own resources to investigate the fuel shortages in Zimbabwe. That journey would take you into Mugabe’s political nightmare which I am choosing to steer clear of. In any case, there are cars are in long-term parking for blocks around every gas station. In conclusion, we set out in the direction of Mbezi Game Park which we discovered was somewhere in the same area as Kufunda Village. Several wrong turns later we arrived.
Part Two:
I am an Orthodox Christian. By nature I am eager to try new things and skeptical of that which I have not experienced. I love adventures and I will never turn down a trip. So when auntie invited me to go, I obviously jumped at the idea. I knew the fundamental principles of Bhuddism. I knew meditation was sitting on the ground with your legs crossed. I didn’t know how Ghandi managed to wrap his legs into a pretzel. From my 20-minute exploration of the website I learned Vipassana is available to everyone regardless of race, gender, religious affiliations, etc. That was enough for me! I was not searching for some life changing experience nor a new religion.
We arrived at Kufunda on Sunday afternoon. We were greeted by a woman who kindly helped us with our bags and fed us. Noble silence began and from there on in our daily schedule is as follows:
04 00 Wake-up bell
06 30 Breakfast of porridge and tea
11 00 Lunch of rice or maize prepared in local fashion and vegetables
17 00 Evening snack of popcorn and tea
21 00 Lights Out
For an hour each evening we watched a video recording of Goinka giving new daily instructions.
Goinka’s practice provides a method in which humans can eliminate suffering and unhappiness. WHAT?!?
Here goes:
As humans, we struggle to maintain control both in our lives and in the world around us. This leads to endless suffering as we can only control ourselves. By learning to observe (as an outsider would) sensations that are occurring throughout our bodies on a moment to moment basis, we begin to understand that change is inevitable. By accepting this reality in our own lives, we understand that nothing is permanent. Therefore we learn to maintain our equanimity no matter what the situation.
It’s a hard lesson. It takes great determination and depending on your religious philosophy, possibly many lifetimes. Time was allotted for bathing, hand washing your clothes and resting. Other than those essential interruptions, meditation was our exclusive occupation. Men and women are provided separate living areas. There is no contact either verbal or physical between any of the participants. Large circular huts serve various purposes from housing to dining to meditation. The housing huts were divided into four rooms each with 3 or 4 beds. During mediation hours participants gathered in the meditation hall, a circular hut of 30 ft diameter. Men entered and sat on the left side of the hut; women on the right. We sat in rows on the floor facing our teacher. I missed my shower, washing machine, refrigerator, and Grisham novel the most. I shivered involuntarily as lizards climbed the walls. I struggled to remain indifferent as mosquitoes ate me alive. I focused on not reacting to intense desire to readjust my legs during the hour sessions of meditation and instead reminding myself that the sensation would pass.
Part Three:
On the 10th day noble silence ended and I met my two roommates and fellow mediators for the first time. Of the 30 or so participants most were Zambian women. There were foreigners scattered here and there. After days of silence, I felt completely at ease saying nothing. Muthoni, a Kenyan women living in Zim, and Auntie fell in love at first sight. She offered us a ride back to Harrare and insisted that we stay the night. Muthoni with the help of several employees make gorgeous jewelry. She was exceptionally gracious to us as was everyone we seemed to meet. Those with “so little” are infinitely more generous with what they have. And they’re content. Go figure.
In conclusion, the 10-day course was the most mentally and physically challenging of anything I have undertaken in my life. As the days melted one into the other I was overtaken by different emotions. Sometimes I felt like screaming and kicking. I felt like I was losing my mind. I desperately wanted to run away and I would have given just about anything for a cupcake. Somehow I manged (it may have had something to do with the fact that I was in a foreign country with no money of my own and absolutely no where to go). I sat on the ground, looked up at the full moon and began to cry.I had an epiphany. S omehow up to this point, life has passed me by. I blame others for my unhappiness and I rely on new clothes, expensive face creams, etc to be content. I came out of the “retreat” with the greatest gift of all: peace of mind. It was as if a blanket fell from my eyes. I am in complete control of myself and my life. I exclusivley hold the power to at each and every moment decide my fate. Instead of waiting until tomorow to make a change in your life, decide right now. What's important to you? Family, friends, God, work, helping others???
The irony is: you're the only one who can make or break it.
Much love and apologies for the delay!
Catherine
P.S. If you're in the least bit inclined to find out more about Vipassana, google it. There are learning centers all over the world. If you need some reassurance let me know. I'll sort you out.